Sunday, February 17, 2013

“Her Clothes Look Like Automobile Seat Covers From Fingerhut”

It was the weekend before Thanksgiving that we realized we had a stalker.

Late Saturday night, November 17, I was glancing through my Sitemeter and Statcounter logs for the day when I noticed that a visitor had spent more than seven hours on my weblog—searching for information about Andrew’s mother.

I immediately told Andrew to look through his Sitemeter and Statcounter logs for the day—and Andrew discovered that the very same visitor had spent more than nine hours on his weblog, once again searching for information about Andrew’s mother.

The following day, we shared the Sitemeter and Statcounter logs with everyone in the family—and Lizbeth, a psychiatrist, was quick to inform us that we had classic stalker behavior on our hands.

We immediately upgraded our Sitemeter and Statcounter accounts, installed a third monitoring device, and began recording and preserving the visits of our stalker.

Below is the daily record of our stalker’s visits for the week of November 19, Thanksgiving Week. For continuity purposes, visits in the early-morning hours are treated as late-night visits from the previous day.

All stalker visits during Thanksgiving Week originated from ISP address 71.36.205.124, registered in Cottage Grove, Oregon, and Elmira, Oregon. Our stalker’s ISP address was to change more than once in coming weeks—and the frequency of the stalker’s visits was to accelerate, as readers will observe as I publish our stalker’s week-by-week visits.

All times are Pacific Standard Time, the time zone of our stalker.

Visits longer than twenty minutes in length are noted.

________________________________________________


Monday, November 19, 2012

8:27 a.m. PST ***
1:24 p.m. PST
1:52 p.m. PST
2:06 p.m. PST **
3:34 p.m. PST
5:06 p.m. PST *
5:45 p.m. PST
6:29 p.m. PST
6:34 p.m. PST
7:54 p.m. PST
9:16 p.m. PST

*** This visit by our stalker was two hours and forty-nine minutes in duration, during which she visited thirty-two pages and repeatedly searched for “Matthew Halls” and “John Evans”. Law-enforcement authorities were later able to explain to us why our stalker had repeatedly searched for “Matthew Halls” and “John Evans”.

** This visit by our stalker was forty-one minutes in duration.

* This visit by our stalker was twenty-nine minutes in duration.

________________________________________________


Tuesday, November 20, 2012

7:45 a.m. PST
10:01 a.m. PST
10:16 a.m. PST
11:01 a.m. PST
3:30 p.m. PST
5:32 p.m. PST
7:00 p.m. PST
9:31 p.m. PST
11:40 p.m. PST
12:34 a.m. PST ***

*** This visit by our stalker was twenty-four minutes in duration.

________________________________________________


Wednesday, November 21, 2012 (Thanksgiving Eve)

7:52 a.m. PST
9:31 a.m. PST
9:48 a.m. PST ***
11:40 a.m. PST
12:34 p.m. PST **
1:44 p.m. PST
5:49 p.m. PST
10:53 p.m. PST
11:28 p.m. PST
12:02 a.m. PST

*** This visit by our stalker was twenty-five minutes in duration.

** This visit by our stalker was twenty-six minutes in duration.

________________________________________________


Thursday, November 22, 2012 (Thanksgiving Day)

3:04 p.m. PST ***
12:08 a.m. PST

*** This visit by our stalker was thirty-one minutes in duration.

________________________________________________


Friday, November 23, 2012 (Black Friday)

11:10 a.m. PST
2:33 p.m. PST
3:09 p.m. PST ***
9:34 p.m. PST

*** This visit by our stalker was twenty-two minutes in duration, and involved a visit to twenty pages.

________________________________________________


Saturday, November 24, 2012

10:53 a.m. PST ***
4:52 p.m. PST **
10:41 p.m. PST
11:52 p.m. PST *
12:30 a.m. PST ###

*** This visit by our stalker was fifty-six minutes in duration, and involved a visit to twenty-four pages.

** This visit by our stalker was twenty-three minutes in duration.

* This visit by our stalker was twenty-one minutes in duration, and involved a visit to twelve pages.

### This visit by our stalker was one hour and five minutes in duration, and involved a visit to twenty pages.

________________________________________________


Sunday, November 25, 2012

9:29 a.m. PST
9:49 p.m. PST

________________________________________________


Thanks to law-enforcement authorities, we know virtually everything there is to know about our stalker, a middle-aged, mentally-ill woman from Springfield, Oregon. I knew law-enforcement techniques for monitoring people were good—yet, as I was to learn, they go far beyond anything I had ever envisioned.

I plan never to give the government cause to monitor me!

6 comments:

  1. Her only friend is The Bradford Exchange.

    ReplyDelete
  2. In fairness, that was what Andrew said when I read him your comment.

    ReplyDelete
  3. She didn’t even take Thanksgiving Day off?

    The woman is super nuts.

    ReplyDelete
  4. It was one of those awkward social situations at a holiday gathering, a situation in which the crazy woman decided to bite the bullet, stand up, and announce to the assembled Thanksgiving guests, “OK. Fess up. You all know me. You all know I’m crazier than a coot—you’ve seen the way I dress, you know how little money I make, you know how nutzoidal my behavior is—so I must leave you all now. I have some serious cyber-stalking to do, and my cyber-stalking is more important to me than celebrating Thanksgiving with you.”

    ReplyDelete