Monday, February 1, 2010

A Quiet Weekend

Andrew and I had a second very quiet weekend in a row.

We stayed home all weekend, going out not at all.

I studied. Andrew cooked.

Cooking certainly helped keep the apartment warm!

On Friday night, Andrew was in the mood for a “major” dinner, so he prepared sesame chicken and pasta with steamed shredded vegetables mixed into the pasta.

The chicken and pasta were only a starter course. After we ate the chicken and pasta, Andrew truly got to work, preparing: Steak Diane; a complicated potato dish that included cream, chives, onions and sharp cheddar cheese; baked okra; fresh green beans with almonds; fresh mushrooms seasoned, coated and fried; and a complicated tomato salad.

It was a stunning dinner—and we skipped dessert.

We ate breakfast all morning on Saturday. We had grapefruit. We had shredded wheat. We had strawberries and blueberries in cream. We had scrambled eggs and toast and orange juice and cranberry juice. We had fresh homemade cinnamon coffee cake (and not from a package).

We had no need for lunch on Saturday!

However, around 4:00 p.m., we were again ready to eat a little something, so Andrew prepared chicken quarters coated with an apple glaze and baked in the oven. We ate the chicken quarters with steamed peas, steamed carrots and Andrew’s mother’s version of Waldorf Salad.

At 8:00 p.m., we were ready for our first dinner course: oysters baked with green peppers, green onions, bread crumbs, parsley, egg yolk, crumbled bacon and butter. Even though Andrew had never attempted baked oysters until Saturday night, the baked oysters were incredibly good.

Our main dinner course was at 9:00 p.m.: a small pork loin, already seasoned, that Andrew merely had to put into the oven. We ate the pork loin with potato pancakes, steamed lima beans and boiled beets. Andrew does not even like beets—and neither do I—but on Thursday night, while we were at the food store, Andrew said that he had a powerful taste for beets and, consequently, he bought some. The beets actually went well with the pork loin, the potato pancakes and the lima beans.

For dessert, we had a small lemon pudding cake, which turned out perfectly: a soufflé-like texture on top, a sauce-like texture on bottom.

Yesterday we had a breakfast that again lasted all morning. We had granola. We had cantaloupe. We had baked eggs and toast and grapefruit juice. We had American waffles and sausage. We had homemade cranberry-orange muffins.

After breakfast, we did not eat again until 4:00 p.m., when we had grilled tuna, seasoned rice (from a package) and steamed broccoli.

Last night we had a major garden salad, followed by baked chicken and stuffing, mashed potatoes, white corn, fried zucchini and two fruit salads: a cranberry-nut salad and a whipped tangerine-cream cheese salad. For dessert, we had homemade cherry crisp with ice cream.

I don’t think I could have eaten as well this weekend even at Andrew’s mother’s house!

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While I have been diligently studying, Andrew has been diligently working. In his spare time, Andrew has been doing some serious reading.

Alex will arrive for a short visit on Thursday night.

My sister has announced, midway through her second year, that she is sick of Vanderbilt. She has decided that Vanderbilt is provincial and she is talking about transferring. My parents do not know whether to ignore such talk or to be in an uproar.

Myself, I am looking forward to Spring Break and our trip to Greece.

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Like Andrew, I view my blog as a personal journal and I do not expect strangers to read my blog or to find my blog interesting.

I do nothing to promote my blog. I very, very seldom comment on other persons’ blogs and I make no effort to “publicize” my blog or to expand my blog readership. My blog is for me and me alone.

I was, accordingly, quite surprised when—out of the blue—my blog readership instantly tripled back in October of last year.

After tripling in October, readership quadrupled in November and quintupled in December.

What was going on? Had I become more interesting?

Alas, my increase in readership had a more mundane cause: people were coming to my blog in search of “White Trash Fat Lady” videos.

Last autumn, I wrote about our summer vacation in Bavaria and Austria, and in one such blog post I wrote very briefly about a hilarious program we viewed on European television, a segment of a program devoted to “White Trash Fat Lady”.

“White Trash Fat Lady” videos portray a genuine (and extremely down-market) American family in the Southeastern United States. This appalling hillbilly family and its outrageous shenanigans are presented mercilessly for the camera’s (and the viewer’s) amusement. The people on the videos simply have no shame. They are, quite obviously, loons, trashy and disgusting in equal measure. I have no idea why these people are not sufficiently mortified never again to appear in public.

Apparently a veritable industry has arisen around “White Trash Fat Lady”. One may find “White Trash Fat Lady” videos all over the internet on any one of thousands upon thousands of websites worldwide devoted to the habits and foibles of “white trash”. Until Andrew and I viewed “White Trash Fat Lady” on European television, we had had no idea that people everywhere were enjoying so many laughs at the expense of American lowlifes in general and this particular family of lowlifes in particular. A focus on white trash has become a growth industry in recent years, especially outside the U.S. Websites featuring photos and videos on the subject now number in the millions, offered in languages I cannot begin to decipher.

The “White Trash Fat Lady” videos Andrew and I saw in August indeed were enormously funny.

However, there are no “White Trash Fat Lady” videos to be found here.

24 comments:

  1. White Trash Fat Lady shows up on the recent Fairfax County Weekly Arrest List. The Fairfax County Weekly Arrest List is available online.

    There, in black and white, is the name of White Trash Fat Lady herself: Amy L. Gamache, age 53, of 14532 Battery Ridge Lane, Centreville, Virginia.

    The entire neighborhood is in stitches.

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  2. White trash fat lady jest międzynarodową sensacją.

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  3. White trash fat lady hat the face of the pig.

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  4. It is possible to gather that White Trash Fat Lady and family of White Trash Fat Lady is very unappealing.

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  5. You’re not going to believe this! One of White Trash Fat Lady’s slut daughters just dropped another one!

    My girlfriends and I were drinking coffee this morning and looked out and saw one of the slut daughters arrive home with a new baby!

    We did not even know the slut was pregnant! She’s so damn ugly and fat, it never occurred to us that she was ready to drop another one! We laughed like hyenas.

    What did these pyschos do five minutes later? They put a big sign out in their front yard announcing the birth! That got us laughing all over again!

    Then, what happened five minutes later? The census takers arrived, and knocked on their front door! That sent us into hysteria! Talk about timing!

    Naturally, we filmed the whole show. Can’t wait to see how the people in Rome do the editing.

    Today’s scenes are worth some bucks!

    Everyone in the neighborhood is still laughing like hyenas!

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  6. Turds beget turds. More spawn from the Bitch of Buchenwald. I'm excited. Time to post an alert on Fairfax Underground. Anyone had mail stolen lately?

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  7. Why did they post that stupid sign? No one talks to them. No one likes them. They have no friends. No one cares that they have a new member of the family.

    Is it advisable to advertise that their daughters are sluts?

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  8. Oh, swell. More white trash at 14532. A dream come true.

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  9. Was that bitch arrested for mail theft? As soon as that outfit moved in, everyone started experiencing problems with mail. We had our mailbox lock jiggered and had to get it replaced. When we went to the post office to order new locks and keys, the clerk told us we were the fourth family at Battery Ridge to have our locks broken and that someone at Battery Ridge had had to get new locks and keys TWICE. The son of the gentleman at 14538 had his paycheck stolen and it turned up outside the Gamache house. That bitch got ahold of the medical records of the guy at 14536. The people who used to live at 14530 went through the Gamache trash one night and found mail from several houses. Why did it take so long for the authorities to do something?

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  10. White Fat Trash Lady!

    Inspiracją do stworzenia najnowszej wiosennej kolekcji!

    Hollywood!

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  11. The Gamache White Trash Bash.

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  12. Ne čistite WC!

    Neka Bijelo smeće Fat Lady čišćenje WC!

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  13. The cameras caught White Trash Fat Lady yesterday. It was the middle of the day. It’s been awhile since that pigbitch had the nerve to come back to the neighborhood.

    She was running in and out of her house, carrying stuff. She was running, genuinely running, up and down the steps, trying to avoid being captured on film. The videos are hilarious. The dumb sow.

    Apparently she was moving some of her stuff out of the house. I never saw so much cheap furniture in my life.

    I found out that bitch was arrested twice, not just once. Amazing. Amy Gamache shows up twice on the Fairfax arrest lists.

    What happened two weeks ago Monday morning with the people at 14538 Battery Ridge Lane? Twelve cop cars showed up that morning around 8:30 a.m., and took the woman of the house away? There were two cops in each squad car. Most were wearing bullet proof vests. Were they expecting a shootout? It was all caught on camera. Very bizarre. What’s the story?

    Has everyone seen the latest round of toilet products featuring the face of White Trash Fat Lady? They’re pretty funny.

    The cameras also recently caught the Bitch Of Buchenwald on film. What has that stupid bitch done to her hair? She looks worse than ever. When will Sully II finally fire the American Ilse Koch? I thought the bitch had to be history once the little girl drowned in the Sully II swimming pool, but it never happened.

    Is there a requirement that Sully II employees be fat, dumb and ugly? The Bitch Of Buchenwald was accompanied by a younger version of herself. They were grotesque. Two grotesque porker pigs out for a feeding. It was unbelievable.

    Is there some secret set of Sully II by laws, requiring Sully II to hire fat ugly psychos who resemble Nazi concentration camp guards?

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  14. No one knows what's up with the Asian lady at 14538. The cops took her away, but now she's back.

    Weird.

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  15. Has anyone drowned in the swimming pool lately, and Sully II failed to notify us?

    I wish Sherree Harvey would drown in the swimming pool. Why can't the board hire competent personnel?

    I am ashamed to live here.

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  16. And I assume everyone noticed that the hillbilly tribe at 14532 finally registered their vehicles in Virginia.

    After over five years.

    Did they pay their back property taxes?

    I WANT TO KNOW!

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  17. Amy Gamache was arrested TWICE?

    What for?

    I WANT TO KNOW!

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  18. I used to rent the property at 14530 Battery Ridge Lane. The previous tenants had initiated the filming of the skanky people next door, which is how the whole Gamache White Trash Bash ball of wax got rolling. I never had anything to do with those Gamache loons. I never talked to them unless I ran into them involuntarily. I always managed to extricate myself pretty quickly. It seemed pretty clear they knew everyone hated them. It seemed pretty clear they knew everyone shunned them. There were neighbors I noticed who never once talked to the Gamache loons. They would wait until the Gamache loons left before coming out of their houses. The whole experience was a sociological study in how normal persons react to psychos in their midst.

    I turned the Gamache loons in for failing to register their cars and not paying personal property taxes. It sort of got on my nerves that they had lived there for years and kept their cars registered out of state. When I called Fairfax County and gave the license plate numbers, the lady told me that the Gamache loons had already been turned in several times by several different persons and that Fairfax County was working on it.

    The owner of the property at 14530 Battery Ridge Lane has rented out the property for years. He knows nothing about the Gamache loons because he’s never actually lived in the house. However, he knows all about the homeowners association situation, which really needs to be addressed. It boggles the mind that Sully II has such an awful homeowners association. It all boils down to an awful board and awful personnel. That Sherry Harvey woman is unbelievable. She needs to be fired. Sherry Harvey is as much a fat, skanky loon as Amy Gamache. Sherry Harvey and Amy Gamache are cut from the same cloth.

    We’re pleased to be rid of the situation.

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  19. Last week the cameras caught the filthy guy at 14532 Battery Ridge Lane raking the leaves from his front yard onto the yard next door. It was the middle of the afternoon on Wednesday, broad daylight, sunny. He made no attempt to hide what he was doing. That guy is total weirdo. Total.

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  20. Those appalling white trash women who run Sully II are the cause of the problems. I think everyone who moves here figures that out in about six months. The board is remiss in not doing something about Sherry Harvey. Till we moved here, we never knew anyone so reviled.

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  21. The cameras caught WHITE TRASH FAT LADY yesterday. It caught her, some other UGLY porker, and that strange, strange, STRANGE guy that lives in the house. They moved two old crappy sofas into the house.

    What is with the constant moving of furniture back and forth into and out of that house? It’s BIZARRE. They just took a bunch of furniture OUT, and now they’re putting another bunch of furniture back IN. This goes on constantly. This has been going on for six years.

    Are there drugs hidden in the furniture, and moving old furniture back and forth is just a cover for narcotics movements? Is 14532 Battery Ridge Lane a warehouse or waystation for drug peddling? The ugly old porker who was with Amy Gamache yesterday looked exactly like a used-up crack addict.

    Amy Gamache was wearing what looked like short pajama bottoms. They were blue, wrinkled, with stars on the fabric. It was unbelievable. It was cellulite display day. That sow gets fatter by the week.

    Then she had a white sleeveless top on.

    She sweated like a pig the whole time.

    It was hard to know whether to laugh or puke.

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  22. "Those appalling white trash women who run Sully II . . ."

    Couldn't be better said.

    Because of them, Sully II is the worst HOA in the country.

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  24. Let me tell you about Amy Gamache. The woman is whitetrash pigbitch psycho. She had the gaul to call up Sully II HSA to complain about kids bikes in a neighbors front yard. She didn’t like kids bikes in a neighbors front yard. Then she put two toilets and a bathtub in her own front yard and left them their for weeks. The woman is whitetrash bigbitch psycho. Kids bikes in a yard are bad, toilets and bathtubs in a front yard are good. No wonder everyone shuns that fat slut. And Sherry Harvey is just as muchy a whitetrash pigbitch psycho for letting her get away with it.

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